The $5 Touchdown Box

No, I’m not in Sweden just yet. But, seeing as I have this new blog set up and ready to roll, an inaugural entry seemed rather pressing. In order to relate it to my upcoming trip, I’ll stick with the theme of “grand adventures” and describe to you a recent escapade.

I’m currently staying at Amherst College so that I can work in the Admissions Office and spend time with my school friends before ditching them for the entire semester. My pal Brian has been kind enough to house me, as I technically no longer have student status at Amherst and am without a room of my own.

That wasn’t the adventure. I just figured I’d set the stage for you a bit.

So five days ago (Wednesday, 1/12/11), I was loafing around with Brian and our friend Andrew. Evening was falling, and western Massachusetts was reaching the end of a 17-hour snowstorm that had landed more than a foot and a half of snow on campus. I was just grateful to be in a warm room, comfortably watching some TV. For Andrew, however, this wasn’t quite enough.

“We should go to Taco Bell tonight,” he said.

“Yeah, let’s do it.” chimed in Brian.

They wanted to walk all the way there, but we eventually decided that we would take the bus to the mall, then walk across Route 9 to reach T-Bell and obtain the long-coveted $5 Touchdown Box. With a Mountain Dew Baja Blast, of course.

CLICK HERE BUT DON'T DROOL

Andrew called the restaurant and asked if they were open for business.

“Yes,” the angelic voice responded. “We opened at 5pm.”

We were out the door within seconds.

Alone on one of the only buses that was running on a normal schedule, the three of us merrily discussed the upcoming meal. Andrew and Brian hadn’t been to T-Bell since early December, and my last trip had been well before that.

Keep in mind, here, that we really like Taco Bell.

The bus arrived at the Hampshire Mall, dropping us off about a quarter of a mile from our final destination. We began the trek through the parking lot, and even continued through some pretty deep piles of snow when we reached the end of the plowed lot. Brian and I surged through the snow in our Vasque hiking boots. Andrew, donning his falling-apart Asics running shoes, led the way with freezing feet but a smile on his face. Taco Bell is, after all, his place. In fact, Andrew was the only one of us three who had the joint’s phone number in his contact list.

After we traversed wet streets that had no plowed sidewalks or shoulders, jaywalked across Route 9 because there wasn’t a pedestrian crossing, and ran through snow up to our waists, we encountered a locked door at Taco Bell.

Conversing with the branch manager through the glass door, we pleaded for him to let us in. You said on the phone that you were open at 5!

But the manager said that only the drive-through portion of the restaurant had opened at 5. Furthermore, the man shot down our request to walk through the drive-through

Making one last attempt to change the manager’s mind, I called though the glass, “We’ll order a lot of food if you let us in!”

No luck. The manager shook his head and walked away.

We spent several minutes just standing out in the snow, trying to figure out what to do next. The school dining hall was already closed, so we had no food options back on campus. And although our Taco Bell dreams were taking a serious hit, leaving the restaurant would signify defeat, which was something we could not allow to happen after being wronged so.

Andrew pulled out his phone and called the branch. When the manager picked up, Andrew kept it simple.

“Hi, I’m the guy standing outside your restaurant. We just came here from Amherst College and just want some food.”

30 seconds later, we stood at the drive-through window, where the manager had invited us to go to discuss the situation with him. Observing: “you guys must really like Taco Bell,” he allowed us to order our food at the window while standing outside in the cold, which we gladly did.

So we had ice cold drinks and boxes of food in our hands and no place to consume them. We walked to McDonalds. Closed. Next up, the mall’s food court. Closed. By this point, our drink hands had frozen and the food had cooled off. But when we finally found a haven in Target, the only place open, we were more than ready to chow down.

Folks, I highly recommend the $5 Touchdown Box.